Adults Celebrating Birthdays

Today, I turned 34.

At my age and stage in life, I don’t quite know how to react to birthdays anymore.

When I was younger, birthdays were extremely exciting. The one day of the year when you get everything you want (within reason, of course) without any guilt. As a child, it was the one day of the year nothing was denied you. As a teenager, it was the one day of the year when I ceased all wars at the home front with my mom. As a young adult, it was the perfect excuse to get plastered and completely wasted without any guilt.

As an adult, I just don’t know anymore. For a while, my birthday coming up just usually put me in a sad mood. I figured it out a couple of years ago that birthdays are generally sad because as an adult, it just doesn’t mean anything anymore. The tendency to compare the excitement of a birthday to a little girl made the nothingness of an adult woman’s birthday even more pronounced. As an adult, it used to drive me nuts that a birthday was just like any other day of the year. But you tend to expect more, yet nothing actually makes you feel that same giddiness as a child.

This year, I approached my birthday with a magnanimous spirit. Yes, it was just another day. And no, I wasn’t expecting anything really.

But maybe it’s human nature to expect that on a special day like today, you do still get a break somewhat.

Oh, I’m not talking about a break from work. Or taking a break from the business of getting through the day. Or the business of all the chores, errands and all the hassles that come with it.

What you do expect though is that maybe one day a year, you can take a short break from the things that get you down.

I have yet to understand with loving patience how dad can’t even take a few seconds to forget about his sickness for awhile and all the financial problems that my brother and I deal with everyday — to even wish me a Happy Birthday.

Nor can I understand how I still need to resort to gentle coercion just to get my hubby to swallow his habitual isolation to spend an hour or two with me with my friends from work here at the office party. (The party’s not for me, my birthday just happens to coincide with our Ad Agency’s anniversary).

It broke my heart awhile ago. But just for a few minutes.

Cause birthdays, as in real life, are filled with its share of painful things. But I can’t afford to let those things weigh me down, or drain away my reserves of positivity and hopefulness.

And so we move on from painful episodes and just hope for better things to come. And if they don’t… well, there’s a lot of alcohol here tonight to keep me company.

Happy Birthday to me!

2 Responses to Adults Celebrating Birthdays

  1. jadecircle12 says:

    Happy birthday, dear! I’ll celebrate with you by having a delicious Tim Horton’s Iced Cappuccino in your name 😉

    The older we get, the less fun birthdays and Christmas seem to get. Why? Because of the expectations, I guess. We used to get a bazillion gifts and big surprises and have a ton of friends over. But now, you’d be lucky if you get to have a nice, quiet, uninterrupted dinner with your loveydubs on your birthday. I realized I’m happier celebrating birthdays when I plan it for me. Doing whatever I want to do, with or without family and friends. Celebrate yourself. Celebrate being older and wiser about life. Celebrate just being alive. You do have a beautiful life, if you really think about it. 🙂

    For your birthday, I wish you happiness, peace, more love and your very own Jollibee franchise to own someday. 😛 Hehe! Enjoy! I love you! Mwah!

  2. wifeinthecity says:

    Hi Friend, thanks for always reminding me about how blessed I still am in spite of everything. 🙂 I miss you! Enjoy that Iced Cappuccino, and I hope by next year, we can have that iced cappuccino together on this same day. Take Care! I love you!

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